Unless you have been living under a rock on a non-existent planet, you should have heard about the Scarlet Letter. I'll wait because I know some of you may need a little more time to think back . . . . .
Yea so those of you who have never heard of the Scarlet Letter . . .here we go! The Scarlet Letter is a book written by Nathaniel Hawthorne and the gist of it is that a woman became pregnant . .not by her husband . .hence committing adultery and had the letter A on her chest for all to see. Now if you need more detail than that you will have to get the book. I must say it is quite interesting . . .degrading and shaming . . .but interesting to say the least.
Many people for centuries and centuries have committed adultery in some form or another. Now before I can talk about anybody else, I must indeed share my truth. I mean it is mine to share and the only way I was able to get to this point in my SERENITY is to acknowledge and accept the fact that I committed adultery. I, yes, I wore the Scarlet Letter A! I'm not, by any means, proud of what I made the conscious decision to do; however I am fully responsible for my actions and my role in the act. I've always been an open book but this was NOT something I shared with others. Even my closest friends were not aware. I mean . .it was a secret like most affairs.
When I tell you that I was castrated when I volunteered this information to my spouse at the time . .that's exactly what it was . .castration!! So I understand how this lady felt. The problem that I have with wearing the Scarlet Letter is I was made to feel like I was the only one on the planet to have ever done this! To be quite honest, without telling other people's truth, I was not the only one regardless of what I was made to feel, believe and ultimately adopt as my identity. I found myself compromising my sanity, physical health, judgment and anything else that was stripped away from me in order to try and scrape that letter off of me. The reality was yes I did it . .no I couldn't change it . . yes I wish it wouldn't have happened . . but yes it did.
The difference between me and other people's truth is that I acknowledge it actually happened. I don't pretend like it never did and I have no problem with letting people know that I am not perfect. I don't rally people to be on my side by telling some truth but not all my truths. It took me a VERY LONG time to get to this point in my life. YES . .it's shameful; however at the same time in order to be honest with anybody, we must first be honest with ourselves. This is how I am now able to #findmyhappy!
I was made out to be and called everything under the sun . .and I'm not talking about the radiance it showers onto nature to grow either! I began to believe that and like I said adopt that as my identity.
Of course I wasn't anything that I was made out to be, but it was real to me at the time. It was real to me as I questioned my own morals, values and life decisions. I even questioned my ability to parent my children because I was led to believe that I wasn't a good parent. Knowing I would die and live again if that's what needed to happen for my children. Again . . .I wore the Scarlet Letter . . .alone. It didn't matter the other people's truth were the same as mine. They weren't on display anymore to the outside world. The reason the outside world didn't know about their truths is because it wasn't discussed. The Scarlet Letter faded as time passed; therefore it didn't really exist. . .in that moment.
Many wear the Scarlet Letter and although I was not proud to have it 1) on me 2) admit it and 3) adopt it as my identity at the time; it helped me to grow more than I probably would have ever. I'm sure I could have gone about this growth process some other way . .but that didn't come to pass . . the Scarlet Letter did! After this detrimental time in my life I was able to grow in the areas of faith, finances, discipline and most importantly identifying who I really am. I was reminded that I am more than a Scarlet Letter. I possess so many attributes and they were all locked down/buried within because I was too busy living for others and not for myself. My identity was compromised because I had no individuality in my relationship. Now listen . .I am NOT advising anyone to go out and pick up their own Scarlet Letter so don't go around saying you were given permission from Channeling Tequila to do what you already wanted to do . . .sorry I digressed!
Bottom line is the only way you are going to #findyourhappy is to know that if your truth is wearing the Scarlet Letter . .YOU are MORE than that and WORTH A LOT MORE! Like Bey says "true love never has to hide" "anything real can not be threatened" (All Night - Lemonade Album). One of my good friends says "if you can't do it in front of me . .then it's wrong" . .I'm paraphrasing but y'all get the meaning. I'm not really sure who this message is for . . .hell it might even be just for my own continued therapy . . .but it's out there now. Just know that I wasn't alone and neither is anyone else in that situation. Know . .acknowledge . . .accept your truth so you can be free from the demons that lie within and continue to remind you of what you're not. We must always remember that the enemy will remind us of what we're not in order to keep control in/over our lives. Scarlet Letter!
LR Wilson, Founder